The Mutha of All Updates It Ain't.
It seems there's so much going on and so little time to write about it. The last two days have meant job interviews, getting everyone to school and work, cleaning the house, doing laundry. . .in other words, the mess of everyday life. Plus the weirdness of having decided to separate but no doing it yet.
Now the boy clamors for attention and I must create the culinary masterpiece known as Taco Night. It seems there is never time. Or, as in last night when the house was quiet, energy for writing. To be fair to myself, I did actually plan to post last night and surfed the internet for -- er -- inspirational material, but then I just got off. My husband came home early and I never got that writing done...what a pity.
The short story on the separation is that my husband proposed we sit down and draw up two lists: what it would take for us to stay together, and what it would take for us to separate. An hour later, we both said that the separation list was more appealing. The staying together list had things like 'Be Different,' or 'Change Sexual Dynamic.' We lived with the choice for a few days and then consulted our various therapists. Neither of us recanted. I called a lawyer, with whom I'm meeting tomorrow. If things stay this amicable, I will have won the lottery.
More soon.
8 Comments:
Well at least it sounds all grown up and adult at this point, I only hope it stays that way for your sake. One step at a time. :)
things have been amicable for me in the separation process though it has taken a lot of deep breathing and Zen for me to stay calm. now as lawyers are more involved i just hope it can stay amicable...but it could get complicated...sigh...
hugs to you. you've put a lot of thought into this, which makes a world of difference.
"Amicable" would be best for everyone. Let's hope he -- and you! -- can keep it that way. So much emotion...hopefully most of it has been burned off in the run up to this.
*hugs*
Here's hoping for a business-like separation.
amicable sounds like a good plan. i hope it continues this way so it makes it easiest for both of you and your son.
Yes, amicable . . . I vote for that, too. The whole damn thing is stressful enough, it'd be nice if people can just keep it together long enough to go their separate ways like adults. Adults who once cared for each other, and still give a crap about how it all shakes out, especially for the little people.
All the best, Wry . . . we're all keeping our fingers crossed for you, sweetie.
XO
"There's a thin line between love and hate." Which is why separation/divorce is soooo nasty sometimes. I truely wish for you that you have won the lottery and an amicable split.
Amicable was the way for me; ended with dissolution. There were a few hiccups along the way, but only one or two and I just kept my cool. The list sounds like a great idea, and worked well.
Have you told your son yet? That's my biggest fear of initiating a separation...how it's going to impact the kids. I just hate to be the one that hurts them (though I recognize I've already done that to a degree with my actions even though they're unaware of them).
I too hope you can keep things cordial at least.
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