Yeehaw.
I swore all day yesterday that after my 50-hour week, I would plop at home after work, eat cheese, and watch The L Word, but more importantly, get to bed by 10, 10:30 at the latest.
Well, the subway was all stupid, so I got home an hour later than I wanted. By the time I fixed some cheese scrambled eggs and popped in the DVD, it was at least 9:45.
Let me say a word here about my video choice: when I created my Netflix queue after my husband moved out, it seems all I chose were lesbian foreign films. A couple domestic like Kissing Jessica Stein, which was only OK. Who knows why? Maybe I'm bi-curious. Maybe I've forfeited on the notion of a normal boy/girl relationship. Maybe I'm bored.
Basically The L Word is a lesbian soap opera. Strangely, the only explicit sex has been straight.
My conclusion, though, is that I don't want a lesbian relationship either. What it made me want was fucking. That's all. Oh God the conversations, the negotiations between people: no thanks. Am I wrong in thinking that dating is a fucking nightmare?
Yet I learned enough from my single days to know that unattached fucking does not make me feel good, or less lonely, or satisfied. Also, that if you don't know someone pretty well and trust them, sex can't possibly escalate to the level I want. It's like sitting in a high school class once you've earned your PhD. B-o-o-o-ring and pointless.
Hey, but I've got toys! And this is why I didn't get to sleep until after 11. The power trio. Got them all buzzing, spinning, hopping and it seems I am back on the right track.
That is, if waking up and doing it all twice over again is any indication.
6 Comments:
Dating sucks, and "getting to know you" sex is lame for precisely your reasons. That's why the case could be made that I'm a serial monogamist, because my real abilities as a lover only show themselves when a relationship is beginning to develop.
Although I'm glad you got your power-wank on. Can raging sluttism be far behind? *chuckle* Best of luck to you, girl.
I agree with you girl ... fucking somebody you barely know is OK and feels good physically, it doesn't match the feeling of going with somebody you love. You're both more relaxed and willing to try new pleasures, without fear.
We're both in the same category ... cept I don't use your power toys LOL
Hi WG,
Sometimes alone-time is sweet!
XOXO
Chuck
Unattached sex is a waste of time. It is better to have a depraved partner or simply go it alone.
-The Holiest
Yet I learned enough from my single days to know that unattached fucking does not make me feel good, or less lonely, or satisfied. Also, that if you don't know someone pretty well and trust them, sex can't possibly escalate to the level I want.
Thanks Wrygirl, I needed to hear that.
Hmmm...you haven't developed a single male friend after all this time you would want to be at least fuck buddies with? Now THAT is scary.
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