Back In The Game.
Wow, OK a week since I last wrote. Let's catch up.
It's Wednesday morning, and the lovely morning sun keeps me from sleeping late. I'm taking a mental health day and keeping the boy at home. The plan is to get some shit done, such as bills, and to figure out what this boy needs.
The weekend was a great one, full of friends, music, sex, food, wine, and cheese. Having my friends over for late-night hanging out with a fire made me happier than I have been in a very long time. People asked me how I was, how's the separation going, and I truthfully answered 'Great. I'm happy.' It was such a relief to say it. It was such a relief to feel it. My life is not just better, but good.
And yes, I did say sex. As candid as I can be, I'm not going to get into the details too much, only: POW pow pow pow POW POW. Yes yes, it's good to be touched and desired, to hear tender words, but really, let me just say fucking is good. And this fucking? Really fucking great.
Then I picked up my son on Sunday and it has been one car crash after another. Tantrums. Tantrums with me, tantrums with his teachers. Made us all cry with frustration. Then it turns around and starts affecting my work, and I feel like a professional fuck-up because I'm letting my co-workers down and distracting them from the million other things they should be doing. And I don't know how to handle this kid. Boot camp? More leeway? He's tired and stressed, confused too. There's no small measure of sadness and anger he's feeling. Like, duh. I, in turn, feel terrible, awful really, for putting him through this.
So I'm taking today to figure things out with him, get the groceries, pay the bills, make some phone calls. . .get back in the game.
9 Comments:
Good for you! Bout time you had a "you" weekend. In time the boy will come around. He is just reacting to change in the only way he knows.
Take Care
I agree with Sugardaddy . . . there's bound to be some fear and uncertainty for him, and he's not sure how to deal. As long as he knows you're always there, and that he can tell you anything, I think he'll be okay.
Also probably needs to hear from his father . . . to know he's not being "abandoned."
Awesome news about the sex, too, despite the lack of tantalizing details ;)
XO
wow ... I am so envious of the guy who got to be the recipient of all your pent up sexual energy O_O
Of course, I wouldn't want to know details. Like at what point you got your mouth on his cock or what position you were in when you came -- I wouldn't have an interest in any of that *chuckle*
I'm happy for you got to feel all that again :o)
As far as the kid, I think it is beautiful that you are taking a day to work with him. He's dealing with a lot of emotion and it's going to take some time for him to get his mind around it all. But you KNOW that staying in that relationship, in the end, wouldn't even have provided happiness for the kid -- and you would eventually have died inside. It wasn't an option, so just help the boy see the finality of it, accept it, and face the future with the knowledge that you love him above all.
Like I have to tell you that. But sometimes it just helps to hear it.
Glad you got some friend time, and a sex chaser even, wow.
Hang in there with your son, hopefully as life settles down he will too. He just needs time to adjust to it.
Safe to say you've definitely been busy, that's quite the itinerary.
Cheers
Hi WG,
Glad to hear you got laid. I knew that celibacy thing wouldn't last.
Re: The Boy- let it ride, sister, just let it ride. Model the behavior you want to see.
XOXO
Chuck
I have a practical suggestion for you from someone who has been separated and is heading for divorce.
Buy the book "What About The Kids." It is written by Sandra Blakeslee. It was recommended to me by my child's therapist and it is a terrific book. It is full of good advice and guidance.
Here's an amazon link to the book.
http://www.amazon.com/What-About-Kids-Raising-Children/dp/0786887516/sr=8-1/qid=1172450187/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/002-5233861-0824068?ie=UTF8&s=books
What you'll see here is that everything that you described is perfectly normal, and that there are appropriate ways to address the issues.
-- Quixotic
Fucking is good and good fucking is better.
I get it. You've suddenly got a "life" now *doing finger quote gesture*
No time for us losers anymore. I understand.
*open sobs*
Have I played on your heart strings yet LOL
I hope you're having a ball, babe.
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