Monday.
I'm actually alone in the house for the first time in five days. I just spent an hour in the car in traffic listening to my new punk rock CD. I only had cereal for breakfast. But the day spreads out ahead of me blissfully empty.
I could read magazines.
I could read porn.
I could write porn.
I could eat a tub of cookies.
I could eat a tub of sour cream.
I could take myself out to lunch.
I could take pictures of myself.
I could masturbate.
I could drink gin and eat crackers in bed.
In other words, I can do whatever the fuck I want. I do, of course, have obligations like washing the linens and mailing a check. I'll get them done.
I could also sit and space out, trying to decide what to do with my day, knowing that I don't have to do anything at all.
Happy Monday.
6 Comments:
Wry,
Thanks for responding. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it....is as follows. Oh, you'll need to be naked for this.
Open all of the curtains and blinds in you bedroom. Proceed to your bed. Strip back the duvet, revealing bright, white clean, but rumpled, white sheets. Walk naked from the bedroom to the pantry. Make yourself a small Hendrick's Gin on the rocks, in a glass that feels good in your hand. Not too big, it is Monday, after all. Lemon twist...Remember to bend the peel backwards to release the lovely lemon oil. After rimming the glass, your hands will smell divine....if it occurs to you, tweak your nipples with those lemony finger tips. Stop for a moment to reflect on what a dirty girl you are. Now, grab that box of Stoned Wheat Thins from the cabinet above the sink to the left. Salt and crunch, good with crisp gin. Pad back to the bedroom, drink and snack in hand....stopping by the cluttered desk that you share with your husband to pick up your well charged, and underused digital camera. O.K., at this point I leave it up to you...but my suggestion would be...Wrygirl sitting squarely on her bum on the very center of her bed, back erect, soles of her feet touching...camera held out before her to capture her woman's tummy, lovely breasts , and the fur and delicate pinkness of her now slightly parted, moistening, sex. Well, Thursday is coming. In my mind, a new scent mingles with fresh lemon. Take another sip, Wry. Use your hands. Have a GREAT day.
Day
For the love of all that is holy, do NOT eat an entire tub of sour cream.
Any of the others, sure.
But not the sour cream.
lol, I agree, that is too much sour cream. Do you just eat it straight from the tub?
I hope you enjoy your time off and it doesn't turn into a big chore day.
Since this is National Masturbation Month you can guess where my vote would go! Oh hell, even if it wasn't National Masturbation Month. "When in doubt...masturbate!" Those are words to live by!
Yup, right from the tub. Just like mayo.
Hi WG,
I understand completely.
To understand, you have to be on a wilderness trip where either a.) you and the boys are isolated in a remote canyon, and haven't brought enough food, and there's 8 miles of angry river between you and the take-out, or b.) on a long Colorado River trip with the menu planned by a fat woman. Fat women ALWAYS view such opportunities as a chance to go on a diet.
Either way, you're down in a dark slot in the Earth, and the difference between perdition and salvation is either a.) a jar of sour cream, or b.) a jar of mayo. Being the whitewater cowboy you are, you can either eat the mayo or run out of gas. And if you run out of gas, you're screwed, because the fat lady and her pals will sit their on their fat asses and let you drown.
Mmmmmm, mayonaisse. Straight from the squeeze bottle.
Something tells me that would suit you, WG.
Love,
Chuck
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