State of the Union.

We've started with a new marriage counselor. I really like her. I was worried that we would need someone more clinical than an LCSW, but she has an edge, unlike a the touchy-feely group I'm used to. Over two sessions she's impressed me more than once with her perceptiveness. She's already said that we'll see her individually, but that we're not to tell her secrets we haven't told each other. So I guess I'm somewhat censored. Probably the next step will be to get an individual referral so I can blab blab blab to someone.

In my head, my only goal is to make this situation liveable until my son is older. I don't really have much hope of saving the marriage long-term. It's too much work, though, to think of going it alone. I wish my intentions were more noble.

I do feel good about the therapy particularly because I like feeling proactive about this. Husband has been surprisingly candid from the start, and I feel pretty good about speaking the truth about how I feel about our partnership. Keeping it to myself certainly hasn't been the answer.

I took some time this weekend to get away, and it was terrific. I didn't even have to have particular fun, just loved being autonomous, without any obligations other than the ones I chose to assume.

I also dodged a bullet as my mother-in-law was visiting the house. The timing was not accidental.

Still dreading the sex, which I have successfully avoided since, I think, October. I am not a very kind wife. We will see how this changes this winter. But I also haven't masturbated, either. Sex drive is just absent, except in regard to that other fellow I've mentioned before. That is a different story.

A big difference is that I'm regularly sleeping well for the first time in almost a year. Our location has changed, and the light and sound are much lower. What a difference it is to be well-rested!

I could include more about our bickering, my discontent, the stresses, but I think I've hit the macro points this time. You get the idea.