State of the Union.
Around here there's a new development. Nothing drastic. I've told my husband, when he leaves the house in the morning, to hide my keyboard and his laptop. This is because this had become my life:
Get up.
Check email/blogs.
Make breakfast. Take it back to computer.
Check email/blogs.
Get annoyed with child that he has needs that take me away from the computer.
Check email/blogs.
Clean up the kitchen.
Check email/blogs.
Take a shower.
Check email/blogs.
Get halfway dressed.
Check email/blogs.
Finish getting dressed....
You get the idea. It was like this all day, everyday. It helps keep me tuned out of my own life. I just finally, this week, got sick of being a slave to it.
So for the past four days I haven't had a computer during the day, unless I stop by the library for an hour. It's liberating and unnerving at the same time. I'm not contemplating ending this blog. In the immortal words of Zaphod Beeblebrox, "Why would I do that? That would be.......stupid." Instead what I'm trying to do is just create new habits. I've been proactive and productive all week. I'm much more present with my son. Being invested.
As for my marriage, I feel for the first time that I can cobble together a liveable situation (for now). The bigger issues still exist, of needing more of a peer, but it seems possible to tread water here for a little while. Who knows. I'm probably totally deluded, but what else is new?
3 Comments:
Self Delusion is underrated anyway. :) I've said it before but balance is important, anything can start to dominate our lives and that isn't healthy for anyone. Take some time, blogging doesn't have to be all consuming, you control that. 'Sides, we'd miss you too much around here.
Thanks AD. Glad you're out there staying tuned.
i feel it, too... had a couple of weeks off, and spent most of that time messing with blogs, mail and IM...
I think all the time about trashing my blog...
I hope you find equilibrium, but stay around.
xo
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