More Details About Writing.
I started writing this blog on the sly. Finding a place to confess, confide, and reveal myself felt crucial. Primarily I wanted to write about life circumstances that I couldn't share with my friends. I slowly felt more comfortable with the medium. I found that I could stretch myself a little creatively here, which felt as though I was using a dead muscle.
Constructing, writing, and editing all eat up considerable time. My husband was noticing how much time I was spending at the computer. I gave him an answer: I was writing.
A while later (a month or so) he asked what I was writing. I told him some fiction, some journal-entry type things.
A while later (two months or so) he asked again what I was writing. I confessed that some of it was erotica.
A while later (three months or so) he asked if he could maybe read something. I said maybe. I confessed to being nervous about what he would think of me, considering it was a side I was had gotten in touch with recently, and certainly hadn't been part of our marriage beforehand. He said he was nervous too, about being intimidated. Secretly, I don't want to share. It's mine.
Now, every once in a while, he asks about it. We don't get any further than these previous conversations.
Think you'd act the same if you knew what he knew? Wouldn't you be curious?
7 Comments:
If the S.O. said she was uncomfortable with me reading her writings, I would not read them. Nor would I seek to find them.
It is the same attitude I have about cohabitating (although she has her own home), space is key! It is often written that money is the most common reason relationships fail, but I disagree. I think physical space, or lack thereof, is the most crucial element. Plus, money is not an issue for us.
Personal space (physical or mental) is all about privacy. If she craved it, she would have it from me, no questions asked, no explanation needed.
True, I can't tell if he's being respectful or his usual detached, incurious self.
I agree with with what Whatthechuck said earlier, I'd print him out something and slip it into his lunch.
The heck with respectful, if my wife told me she was writing erotica... oh baby, I would be driving her crazy to share. Isn't that the whole point?
He quite probably is dying to know what you are writing, but doesn't want to push because he doesn't want to open the Pandora's Box of talking about your relationship; and/or finding out if you have other relationships.
Eventually, as soon as he turns over the problem enough in his head, I would imagine he will want to know.
The thing is, it's one of the few things in my home that's purely mine. I don't want to share *everything*. Does that make me a bad partner?
Not at all a bad partner...but it puts you in an awkward place because he has learned about your erotic writing's existence. It would really have been better if he'd known nothing at all...
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