Rant: to someone who won't read this.

You invited your friends over. You planned the menu and went grocery shopping. I made the dip and stuffed the dates and laid the tablecloth and did all the cleaning while taking care of our son. I lit candles and chilled the wine. It was an exhausting day.

Late tonight I took your hand and walked you around the block. I led you to the bathroom. I waited for you to finish vomiting and then I gave you a glass of water, reminding you not to drink too much. I turned on the hall light because the bathroom light would have been too bright. I led you to bed. I took off your pants, put your wallet on the dresser, plugged your phone into the charger. When I'm done writing this I'll go downstairs and tidy the kitchen: the bottles and the dishes will all be clean when our son gets up. The patio and the porch and the dining room and the living room are already done. I made sure of it.

Thanks asshole. I hope you had fun. Now will you admit that you have a drinking problem?