Status Report
Last night I tucked myself into bed and felt so snug and warm and content that I slept like a rock. All chaos aside, at least I am sleeping well.
The truth of the matter is that I've been busy in the real world, which is terrifically gratifying. Just now I caught up with my to-do list (dubious invention, that) and saw that not only could I cross of specific items, but I also saw that I had moved forward in the general categories of 'friends,' 'jobs,' and 'exercise.' By last night, however, I was itchy all over to get back to some writing, to roughly massage the creative muscle that's lay slack for the past few days.
Sex has been on my mind a lot less, probably because I'm not having any, and I can't figure out if that's good or bad. It certainly cuts down on my not-getting-hot-monkey-fucking angst, but I worry that I will be complacent in letting it go from my life. How sad would that be? So sad. So very very sad. But at this point it would take so fucking much to get it back, namely having my own money and space and time and privacy (so, separation, basically), and finding someone that I would even want to have sex with, taking that risk, and then seeing if it can be hot monkey sex. I mean, that is a lot of fucking work (nyuk nyuk) for basically a lazy girl.
And let's not be coy here - how many smart, funny, available, attractive hot monkey fucking people can there be? Oh I know I know all you are saying 'Me! I'm one! I can do the hot monkey fucking!' Come on. We all know it isn't that objective. Just because you and your Sally get the hot monkey fucking going doesn't mean that you get the hot monkey fucking going with just anyone. Add that to the problem, then, that not only would I have to do all that other work, but then it may not even be worth it! I finally get myself all single and stable (no simple feat) and naked with someone (and, by the way, not exhausted already from all that work) and then it doesn't work? Oh sweet Jesus in a treetop I can't even imagine the crushingness of that.
See? It would be so much easier to just forfeit on the notion in general.
Ha. Ha ha. Ha ha ha. Right.
Like that could happen.
7 Comments:
I know exactly what you mean
Oh god, I do too. The work, the struggle, the legion of men who think they know what it would take to satisfy us, and then...
God.
I'm another one who understands what you mean, because I live through much the same thing. I'm too often left wondering if I'm the one who's being unreasonable. Isn't it possible to be married, preserve your sense of self, and have hot monkey fucking? Does being married have to mean giving up your identity to be spouse (and/or parent). If you make too many compromises in other parts of your life, can you feel free enough to enjoy hot monkey sex? Sometimes I think I'd be willing to settle for two out of three.
I like how you pretty well crushed the hopes of any Blogger lothario who was planning to "volunteer" for you in a comment. I would love to someone try now.
I'd also love to see you use the phrase "hot-monkey-fucking" more. It got funnier every time you said it! :)
yes there is nothing quite as hard to take in as the thought that you might be let down after working yourself up to try this with someone else.... I feel the same way
Hi WG,
I'm someone who managed to come through near-divorce (ask AAG-- I already poured my guts out to her) and end up still with the occasional hot-monkey-fucking. And pretty reasonable fucking the rest of the time.
I've decided it's possible. But it just goes on hiatus, as relationships equilibrate.
It's just a lot of hard, fucking work. That sometimes doesn't involve fucking. I just don't know what to tell you.
Uh, can I get back to making comments about giving you a spanky and biting your heels?
Love,
Chuck
Well, I feel confident in saying that I am a smart, funny, attractive available guy.
Unfortunately, not into monkey sex. Sorry.
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