Life Is Strange.
My husband and I have entered the business phase of our marriage, wherein we make plans, trade off childcare, and run the house. It's a strained aloofness, I guess. Right now there's a bed in the hallway until we can get the third bedroom cleaned out and set up as mine. I'll sleep in my own bed, in my own room, next door to my husband of ten years. Isn't that weird? It's weird.
Things feel a little funny with my friends, too. My guy friends, I mean. They all know my marriage is ending. Now every time one of them puts a hand on me I think "Are you touching me?" All of a sudden, I assume every man has sinister urges.
Like, DUH!!!!!
Let me restate that: Now I wonder if those urges are directed toward me or if these guys are just being their usual friendly selves.
Yah right.
I guess the important thing for me to notice is that the attention makes me go 'Ick.'
With one very notable exception. Hi.
5 Comments:
Hi there. :) Oh, well, one can dream can't one? This was the part that I somehow hated more than the others, the long twilight.
A bed in the hall?
How come you have to move rooms, huh?
That's a silly question...if I ever manage to get to this phase, I'll be the one to move rooms.
"Hi" right back to ya, girl!
(Lemme alone! I can dream, damn it)
On a serious note: I wish there were something helpful I could say. But, of course, there's not. You and I both know it's gonna be a long process, and the suckin's just begun.
When the time comes, look to your friends. They can help pull you out of the pit of negative emotion. But you have to be ready to come out.
At least, that's the way it was with me.
*shrug*
I don't really have a comment, other than to say that I've slept in another room for a long time now. And to say that I appreciate your blog.
It is a real shame that one result of your breakup is that you suddenly question physical contact from your male friends. I can't say that they haven't always had ulterior motives for that casual pat on the knee or "punch" on the arm - but if you didn't question it in the past why should you now? Does this new almost "available" phase in your life defacto mean that you have to reevaluate all of the relationships with the men in your life? Of course, maybe one of them could be the next "man" in your life, who knows.
But the ickyness is really a shame.
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