Two Updates
I think I've been understating how difficult and strange it is to be living in the same house as my husband. We decided to separate at the beginning of November; now it's halfway through January. Imagine breaking up with someone and still living with them two and half months later. Fuck, man. I'm really unhappy with this. After a week alone, I am acutely aware of how stressed, annoyed, and frustrated I am with this situation.
Also, I take back every hesitation about the new vibe. It's fine. It's good. We're going to be friends after all.
5 Comments:
It took me eight months and those were very, very difficult eight months. Hang in there and be strong. Have you given any thought to a timetable?
I went through the same thing. Living in separate rooms, and he thought as long as he handed over his paycheck everything would be fine and he would be allowed to sleep on the couch pretty much forever. It wasn't hateful, but it was uncomfortable and once I had made the decision, I wanted to be done. It took 5 months and that was only because I helped him find a place to live. He is, after all, the father of my children. My kids were older and they still tell anyone who will listen about how I let their dad stay until he found a place to live and even after the divorce was final (only by a few weeks mind you) but it was my choice not to be a villain.
Still, it's really hard once the decision is made.
Hang in there, it gets better.
I'm delurking after just discovering your blog and compulsively reading all your archives in a few nights (but I swear I'm not a stalker or anything!!) It was just impossible NOT to because you could be me with better writing skills and one less child.
Anyway, yes, my ex was in the house for over two months after the decision to separate, and despite the fact that HE initiated the separation, I had to be the one to set a deadline because I simply could not tolerate that level of tension. The good news is once he left, although I still had many, many issues and problems to deal with, the sense of lightness was incredibly good.
So, HAVE you given thought to a timetable?
it's a difficult situation. I couldn't stay another night after I'd made the decision to go- It seriously makes me ill to set foot in the house now, which I do every weekend to pick up my kids.
I don't have any advice for you. Our marriage survived our separation. So, I have an idea about what you are going through - but only you know the whole of it. Not that it helps you any for me to say this, but I am sympathetic to what you are experiencing and wish for you strength and steadfastness in your journey.
Post a Comment
<< Home