Friday Night.
There is something essentially lonely about being a single mom.
Duh.
In the last week, I've gotten acutely tuned in to the solitude of it. It isn't pretty. When I'm Mommy, it's all me, 100%. There's no one to relieve me or talk to deeply and privately about my worries or confusion. Apparently I compensate by talking to myself at 3am. Excellent.
It's Friday night. Most of my female friends are married. Who can cut loose and invite me out for a drink? Or even, who can I call? Last weekend I arranged a dinner for my married lady friends, but that took two weeks of planning. Of the single moms I know, who has my exact same insanely erratic custody schedule? That is one fucking narrow needle to thread.
Boo hoo, I know. I'm out of a shitty marriage, have amicable relations with my ex, have plenty of money, a good place to live, a supportive employer, a new guy out there, and an inch of bourbon in the cupboard and Deadwood for the DVD.
But if I'm feeling overwhelmed, fuck, I can only imagine what it's like for the 99% of other single moms who don't have one-tenth of what I have going for me.
I'm done complaining. Good luck to you. Hang in there.
5 Comments:
...narrow needle to thread.
perfectly described by only one who could understand. it's tough. but we keep going.
Hey, complain all you want. I know several "single" moms (one with twins) and I do not envy them. It's very tough. Hard enough being a tag team. I can't even imagine doing it solo.
i'm late to this party but just wanted to chime in with my agreement. another factor is that most of the single women i know are years younger, and living such a vastly different lifestyle. And having resources or no, being a single parent really is qualitatively different from having a partner to co-parent on a day to day basis. so don't feel bad complaining, it really IS hard.
This is why you need to drown your sorrows in the arms of a Texan
I won't let anything happen to you. Trust me.
*smiling showing almost no fang*
That's it! Got'damnit you have coaxed me out of my silence. I've been reading for quite some time now, probably a year but never commented. But the single parent thing? Man, lonely? WHaaat? WHo are you tellin. I just wanted to "testify" to that. I think it all the time, for some reason you saying it was like a major relief. I guess I'd never said it out loud or even written it before or told anyone. ...Wow. I'm sending support from over here and yes, it it is good to focus on the positives. AND at least you're sharing custody with someone which provides a break here and there. I wish I could say the same. It's "Showtime" 24/7 around these parts.
B-Strong.
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