A Few of My Favorite Things.

**I wrote the post at the end of this one but am now sitting down to write again.***

I am a stupid, dumb, insane, emotional, and silly girl.

I have got to come up with a new plan of How To Be. I am vaguely getting there.

OK so I made this new resolution not to be with someone, not to have a thing with anyone. To be alone for now.

And I knew that I was going to have to have a conversation with a particular someone. We met up to hang out. He is whip smart, funny, and great, so I had to keep telling myself I Will Not Have A Thing. I Will Not Have A Thing. I Will NOT Have A Thing.

And then we actually got to the part of the evening when he said 'I like you and I want to have a thing.'

Really? Awesome! Great! Let's go! I dig this guy! Only. . .er. . .

I Will Not Have A Thing.

So I looked at him and said it. I Will Not Have A Thing.

And he got it. He's completely cool with it. He took a chance but it didn't pan out and he's fine.

But me?

I am doing the right thing. But I'm pouty and bitchy and annoyed and sulky about it. Waaaaaaah it's not what I waaaaaaant. And I'm lamenting Not Having A Thing as though I'm not also responsible for that decision. This is your choice, so live with it, WryGirl! Suck it up! Do the work!

Then maybe you'll truly get what you want instead of just what you want right now.

Oh, but I also wonder if I'm an idiot for passing this up.

But not really.







*****There are a bunch of real topics I could write about, but I'm not in the mood. Moving out of my old house. Friendship. Loss and Transition.

But what I'd really like to write about is the great sex I had. Oh -- haha-- that's right. I haven't had any great sex in about, er, for-fucking-ever! So I'm going to just remember some nice, general moments.

Heavy making out, then he wordlessly gets up on his knees and parts my thighs.

We're spooned in bed. He's behind me and he pulls my top leg back an over his so he can enter from behind.

He pulls my hair. Whenever. For whatever reason.

As foreplay, he pushes me onto the bed, pushes up my skirt, and smacks my ass.

He reaches behind me, pulls my bra tight, and runs a hand over the taught fabric stretched over my nipple.

He bites my ear and I say 'OW!. . .Do it again.'

I tell him I read a spanking story on the internet for the first time and it got me hot. He offers to spank me. He studies up and does it right.

He forgets the one item he was sent to buy because of the insane blowjob I gave him in the car.

OK now I'm just torturing myself.

It's all good. I miss it all.