Friendship?
I have a friend from 2nd grade. We'll call her Amy. We've been through all sorts of trauma, crises, and phases of friendship. We were in each other's weddings.
Last year I told her everything about the status of my marriage. Since then she's been present, yet opinionated about what I should do. In particular, she thought I should tell my husband Everything. I said that was out of the question. She continued to challenge me honestly, and I replied in kind.
Our last exchange was maybe in March. Over email (I know, I know, always perilous). It was contentious but not hostile, or so I thought. Since then I haven't heard anything from her. I've emailed her a few times, and last weekend sent an explicit request to know what was going on with her. Still, no reply.
I've felt comfortable honoring her silence, and assuming she's taking a break from my chaotic life. Now I'm mad. I would think that after 30 years or so, you'd give a little 'heads-up.' I had hoped that our friendship merited at least that level of respect.
I don't know what to do at this point. Keep trying to contact her? Keep silent? I'm beginning to seethe about it, though.
Keeping my cool would seem to be the best step, at least.
6 Comments:
Like PM said, it's her problem not yours.
If she's not got the decency to reply leave it for now. It could be that she has some crap going on and she's not in a place where she can respond, maybe she doesn't know what to say?
Give her some space.
In the end friendship is a two way process and if she's not willing to meet you halfway, let her go. I know it would be hard, but maybe it's just that time. :-(
Nine times out of ten when someone stops talking to me, I find out their life hit Litetime Movie Status and they were overwhelmed.
The other 10 percent they were just assholes who hated having my day be a bummer to them. Fuckers.
Hi WG,
Show up at her house with a strap-on harness, a 10" black, smooth dildo, with some large plastic testicles, a ball gag all strategically placed under a Garfield apron, and a plate of cookies.
I'll hide behind the bush while you knock on the door.
We'll fix that bitch.
Love,
Chuck
Time heals all wounds...
First of all your thoughts of common courtesy are what you should do. Speak to her in person, over the phone even, and offer her a lunch or other type of personal meeting. Be open and honest and strong at that meeting and let the chips fall where they will. If you let it go, and let time heal all wounds, you will never hear from her again. And then you will always have this nagging doubt about what you should have done. Get it aired out in person if at all possible. Believe me, I've missed several chances like this with old friends and I've regretted every single one of them.
I'd agree on the keeping cool thing. She just doesn't understand.
You know how for some people you can never TELL someone what an experience is like,.. they have to experience it for themselves? It sounds like your friend is that type. It sounds like she doesn't understand your motives and rejects your beliefs because she can't relate in that way.
One day maybe she will understand either through a similar situation or an analogical one that helps her to understand your position. Then she'll come back and apologize for cutting you off.
Hang in there! *hug*
:)
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