Misc.
Let's assume it was something I ate.
I had another tripped-out dream last night, again about my mother. I was looking through her address book and found a page of websites and passwords. For the bi-curious. Seems she was into chicks and posting it on the web. I felt amazed by this discovery. I don't know what this says. Best to leave it alone and chalk it up to reading porn and eating macaroni and cheese before bed.
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My husband returns home today after three days away. Already I am feeling a little stressed about doing all the things he will expect to have done. Laundry, groceries, cleaning, meal planning, cooking. I am more than just the sum of my tasks! My job is to fight this compulsion within my own head. Fight complicity in creating this dynamic - I can't blame him for my complacent behavior.
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I read pretty much all of A Gift From the Sea by Ann Morrow Lindberg. It is generally poetic and specifically helpful. I'll quote it here another time, but one thing it emphasizes is that every woman should spend time by herself, to be a still axle in a constantly spinning wheel of responsibility, work, family, friendships.
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I think Tuesday promises to be a very very good day.
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Today's breakfast with my son: pancake and cream cheese sandwiches. You think that it bad? It is not. It is good.
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My drapes were closed this morning. The ceiling fan was on pretty high. A sheet and a light blanket. Four pillows. Heaven.
3 Comments:
Hi DPQ
Husband needs to stop expecting things to be a certain way when he gets home.
I did. He needs to. Now. You have a small child. As long as small child is intact, good enough.
Love,
Chuck
DPQ,
Are you certain he expects it done? I only ask because I know I projected a lot; my need to feel like I was filling my appointed role, and perfectly managing it all---more than was necessary anyway. Not to say he isn't an ass most times, but a lot came out once we hit bottom and went to therapy.
Pancakes and cream cheese sandwiches sound awesome. How old is your son? I have three, my youngest is almost 6.
I am still blown away by how many kindred soul I find here on blogger. Believe me, I know a lot of which you speak, and what you are going through.
I loved all of Anne Morrow Lindbergh's books. She was certainly a very stong woman who faced tragedy and made deep commitments.
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