If I Were Your Girl...

...you'd not dare to cheat on me. Yes, so what I'm a hypocrite. Or was. Whatever.

And do you know why this is? Because I'm nobody's fallback girl. I'm not the consolation prize. If you're with me, you're one lucky bastard and we both know it. I'm not the Fuck Buddy. If I'm yours, then you're mine. If you get to fuck me, then no one else gets to fuck me, but then again, no one else gets to fuck you.

You can wake me in the middle of the night. You can call me to you during your lunch hour. You can push my head down into your lap as we drive to Best Buy. Whatever. But you cannot, or will not, have so much as lunch with another girl that I don't know.

But if you do get a chicken Caesar salad with the hot coffee shop girl, here's what will happen:

I'll go to lunch too. Only it will be with an old lover. And I'll tell you exactly when and where it's going to be, probably in a hotel restaurant. We'll sit nice and close. I'll laugh and toss my hair and flirt flirt flirt. Then I'll have that old lover write you a note. And that note will say in detail what that lover is going to get to do to me if you ever cheat on me again.

See? No escalation. I'm not going to fuck anyone. No no no. But you'll learn. If I'm yours, then you're mine.