• Friday, December 01, 2006

    The New Way

    Welcome to December 1, 2006.

    I've decided to make a pledge of celibacy for a little while.

    I've been thinking about it for about a week now, relevant to what decisions and instincts will best serve me in the upcoming months. I'm facing the dissolution of my marriage and the creation of a new life. How, therefore, do I stay focused? It would be easy and fun to distract myself with the tumult of a sexual relationship. Wouldn't it be convenient to forget all the stuff I was suppposed to be dealing with? Ooooo the intrigue - such an exciting charge, a buzz to enliven my heart and body. I'd love to feel Something Else.

    But I have too much to do and learn.

    I have a lot of faith in myself, but not enough to trust my decisions about sex. If I chose to take a lover, I'd like to think I'd be doing it for the right reasons, but I think I'd secretly, or unconsciously be looking to fill a need or save me in a way that no one but I can. The depths of loneliness and sadness will be painful, but I need to go there and get myself back out again.

    And it's also time to embrace humility, to admit that there's a lot I've done as a disservice to myself that I don't want to repeat.

    So that's the deal for the next few months.

    Awesome!

    8 Comments:

    At 2:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

    I think besides humility, you are showing some wisdom.

    I know a place where you can get a good price on a monk's habit.

    And you do know that there are a LOT of disappointed guys out here right now? Just sayin.

     
    At 2:44 PM, Blogger Gadfly said...

    I kinda think you may be making a good choice.

    I totally monked out for months after my marriage broke up. I didn't WANT to talk to anybody.

    You do need to deal with things alone for a bit.

    (Even though I'd really like to fuck you *chuckle*)

     
    At 5:00 PM, Blogger Shon Richards said...

    I experimented with celibacy in college when I wasn't getting any anyway. I decided to try it since I was masturbating once or twice a day as is. I went for about a month and I found my sex drive dropped within two weeks. It does help you stay focus but I personally found it made me more grouchy. I hope it works for you.

     
    At 6:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

    I just wanted to tell you that I've read your blog from the beginning and it is amazing. I think you are funny, insightful, complicated and most interesting.

    Sometimes you need to back off and take a break.

     
    At 9:28 PM, Blogger Semi-Celibate Man said...

    I can relate. Learn what you have to learn, and come back out when you're ready. Not that I know what I'm talking about. I don't have any solutions for anyone, either. Just support.

     
    At 4:48 PM, Blogger What the Chuck said...

    Hi WG,

    Does biting your heels count as sex?

    Does writing about sex help keep you celibate?

    Love,

    Chuck

     
    At 8:10 PM, Blogger WryGirl said...

    I'm tired, hungover, and I smell of cheese.

    Celibacy isn't a problem so far.

     
    At 10:21 PM, Blogger What the Chuck said...

    HI WG,

    Mmmmmm.... cheeeeeeseeee!

    I couldn't resist ;-)

    Chuck

     

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