Me, The Insane Person.
At 4:45 today I was leaning on my car and breathing deeply. My son clambored around the passenger compartment, yelling and weeping. I had shut him in there.
When we left his school, he demanded to go to a restaurant for dinner. I said no, so he refused to walk any further. I picked him up and carried him. When we got to the car, he threw another tantrum, screaming that he wanted to go back and try walking nicely. By this point the only safe thing I could do was to get him in the car and shut the door so I wouldn't hurt him.
Then I'm stuck there feeling completely unbalanced, and humorless. That's just not me. And that is the problem with motherhood: not the tantrums or the weeping or the sleeplessness, but that at time I feel like an entirely different person.
I've recently started a job with incredibly cool women (hip glasses, clogs). None of them have kids. I don't think this is a coincidence. Either they are cool so they didn't choose motherhood, or they didn't choose motherhood and are therefore still cool. I'm getting back to that center of being my irreverent, testy, fun self, but moments like these, bracing myself to turn around and deal with the tempest in the car, I feel it all slough away and it's just me, the insane person.
**I got him out of the car, let him walk nicely along the sidewalk, and helped him back to his carseat.
8 Comments:
You just needed a time out.
Situation defused . . . good job, Mom. It's times like that when my favorite line, from the one-and-a-half Bernie Mack shows I watched, comes back to me:
"I'm gonna keel one a them kids . . ."
You have nothing to be jealous about . . . sexy, sharp as hell, gorgeous, playful, creative, loving . . . AND you have a child. How many of them can say the same?
Pretty cool, I think.
XO
My my I remember those days too well. I have four and each one has been locked in the car or just inside the house while I step out to avoid hurting them or myself. I used to feel like a failure during these moments but now I realize that makes me a better mom, no screaming, no hitting just time for both of us to regroup. You did the right thing.
No, you yell "I'll give you something to cry ABOUT" and then beat the living crap out of him! That's what MY parents did -- and look how I turned out!
Urrr... On second thought. Maybe you did the right thing
:o)
You've made the biggest sacrifice and gift by becoming a mother... and you're worried about your co-workers being cooler?
Who's going to have the better sense of humor after a few years? I highly doubt my Dad was anywhere near as funny as he is now, before he had me to hone his skills on... at my expense.
Hi WG,
Whatever you do, don't stuff the little shit in the microwave.
It's illegal.
Love,
Chuck
Hi WG,
Urk. I just read the story on CNN AFTER tossing out that piece of black humor.
Not funny. Sorry.
Love,
Chuck
It sounds like you coped well, kept level headed and did not lose control.
That makes a good mother and a good person. x
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